A couple weeks back I clicked over to The Washington Post to read about the Redskins. This is my daily torture. The thinking is that news about the team can’t always be bad; this season has taught me that it can. My mouse missed the “Sports” pull-down menu and landed on the link for “America’s Next Great Pundit.” Clicking led me to this…

The Washington Post opinions section is asking people around the country to tell us why they deserve to publish their opinions in The Washington Post and be the next Dana Milbank or Eugene Robinson. Ten contestants will be picked from among all the entrants, and then the field will by narrowed down by rounds of challenges testing the skills a modern pundit must possess. They’ll have to write on deadline, hold their own on video, and field questions from Post readers. After each round, a panel of Post personalities and reader votes will help determine who gets another chance at a byline and who has to shut down their laptop. The ultimate winner will get the opportunity to write a 13-week column that may appear in the print and/or online editions of The Washington Post.

It’s a contest for a job, kind of like every listing on every job site, but with some publicity behind it. And I suppose most companies don’t lay out the interview process for candidates in advance and then conduct those interviews in public. Otherwise, what we have here, ladies and gentlemen, is a job listing. The contest also bears a striking resemblance to Reality TV, with more ink and less silicone and plastic. People can risk making fools of themselves to be the last person standing. Alas, there’s no Flavor Flav or Bret Michaels or Mr. and Ms. Douchebag Von Dingbat to boost our self images. But The Washington Post is definitely spreading the disease that’s taken over my cable box.

Their overall goal here is to generate excitement with the readership, some sort of connection to the public. The newspaper industry isn’t exactly minting money these days. People get their news online, and ad revenue is way down. The wall that’s separated the media and the public has come down. Citizen journalism and crowdsourcing are all the rage, so why no co-opt them? Maybe there’s a hidden talent out there, or at least some worthwhile free content. And all the chatter that this contest has generated among the digerati can’t hurt.

I’m alright with all this. Every last bit is just peachy-keen with me. I play the job search game everyday, for hours on end. It’s so much more fun than “God Of War” or “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City” or full-contact Parcheesi. I never win, as evidenced by my ongoing unemployment and blog. But I play and play and play. There’s even a home version of the game coming to a Toys R Us near you. It’s called “A Norm’s Life,” and it’s perfect for that loved one you don’t like so much and want to scar a little. Check the discount bin this holiday season, below the anatomically correct Barbies. I also play the “here’s my content, please steal it” game. Bots scrape my site all the time, and the posts show up in random places – travel and plumbing sites being the most common. Blogging is public. Leave anything out front long enough and someone will steal it. (Queens residents should change “long enough” to “for three seconds.”)

And why not me? That’s what I ask myself whenever I send off a resume. So the question applies here too. I have opinions on stuff, and can make things up on the spot. I’m media savvy, given my college radio shows, a few TV appearances and this blog. And I defy you to find someone better looking in the punditry field, Rush Limbaugh aside, of course. Go ahead, turn on CNN or Fox News. There’s no one.

I read through the official rules just to be sure. Entry requires a 400-word article on a current issue and a 100-word paragraph describing why I’m the best choice. Everything else is pretty standard – 18 or older, US resident, no purchase necessary. So the other night, writing against a deadline, I banged out my entry. The subject is the term “jobless recovery,” and why the whole idea is more ridiculous than the premise for “Gilligan’s Island.” Maybe the actual sitcom comparison got edited out of the final draft. I had a word limit. But the spirit is there. This could be my chance, after months of looking for work. As we say in the job search biz, 7456 is a charm.

A jobless recovery means no recovery for the unemployed

I received a pretty awesome email last week… so awesome that I immediately forwarded it to wifey with the message, “I’ll file this under WTF.” She fainted from excitement; it seems this email marked the first step in fulfilling a lifelong dream. Her coworkers brought her back to consciousness with Ethel Merman tunes and smelling salts. When she regained her senses – or lost them for good – she cleared her afternoon schedule and set about determining exactly how to qualify.

The message came from a casting producer at the reality show Wife Swap. They are looking for recession victims to cast in their upcoming season. The premise of the show is that wives from two families with different values, backgrounds and experiences switch places for a week. (Presumably they share a willingness to embarrass oneself on national television.) Violence and/or hilarity ensues. Reality does not.

Wifey and I qualify in every way but one – kids. We don’t have any. We brainstormed some ways to quickly obtain a little person, making our family whole in the eyes of Reality TV. Borrowing a nephew was the most feasible. But the only one who fits the age parameters hasn’t looked up from his Nintendo DS in approximately 47 months. Not recognizing “my son” wouldn’t be very believable. Paying a neighborhood kid was another possibility, but a far too creepy one. And Google searches for “Gary Coleman’s phone number” only led me here and here. All the other options involved breaking some laws (beyond those of good taste), so I won’t get into them. Let’s just say that I’d probably end up sharing much smaller living quarters with a much bigger, hairier companion, for the next eight to ten years.

Because we’re all friends here in unemployment-land and everyone can use a little awesomeness, the email is below. Contact me at joblessandless[at]gmail[dot]com if you’re interested in swapping wives for America. I’ll put you in touch, and laugh at you on TV in the near future.

My name is XXXX XXXXXX and I am a Casting Producer for ABC families hit reality show ‘Wife Swap.’ We are currently casting for our fifth season and we are looking for families who have been victims of this tough economy.  If you’ve been laid off due to cutbacks, then I want to talk to you!

The premise of Wife Swap is simple: for seven days, two wives from two different families with very different values exchange husbands, children and lives (but not bedrooms) to discover what it’s like to live a different family’s life. It’s an interesting social experiment and a great way to see your family in a whole new light. It is shot as a documentary series, so NO scripts and no set. It’s just a small camera crew that is documenting your life.

Families that appear on the show will receive a generous financial honorarium and if you refer a family that appears on the show you would receive $1000.

Here at ‘Wife Swap’ we look for a two-parent home with at least one child between the ages of 6 and 17 living at home full time.

If you are interested, please email me your contact information and tell me a little about your family. Or if you would like to refer a family, please email me their contact information and I will be in touch.