Businesses continue to fail in Jackson Heights. It’s sad to watch. Every walk down Roosevelt or 37th Ave. reveals a recently vacated store. Some I’m happy to see go – like all the cell phone places or the shop at my corner selling cheap umbrellas, NYC t-shirts and an assortment of useless junk. My wife and I get way more enjoyment out of speculating what businesses could fill the voids in a perfect world (New York Sports Club, Barnes & Noble, are you out there?) than we ever did out of the now-closed stores. But there are no new stores coming in, just padlocked security gates and “For Rent” signs. I’d rather have the crappy stores back.

The KB Toys on 82nd St. is in the process of closing. There’s something extra sad about a toy store going out of business. It’s downright depressing when that toy store goes out of business right after Christmas, the biggest shopping season of the year. And it’s almost suicide-inducing when you have to watch its demise – from Christmas through New Years – from your bedroom window while looking for a job yourself.

Were sales so bad that even the holidays couldn’t keep the store afloat? In a neighborhood swarming with kids, did that few parents buy presents? Did the owners just delay the inevitable long enough to make what money they could? As it turns out, the company is bankrupt and shuttering all 460 of its stores. I’ve been watching the sale signs get more and more desperate day by day. Now they’re up to “everything must go.” Before too long they’ll start selling the furniture and fixtures.

One day soon it will just be a KB Toys sign and an empty store. And that’s how it will stay, for a very long time, or at least until a mega hair/nail/eyebrow salon takes over. The toy store’s employees will venture into unemployment or, if they’re lucky, other employment. I’ll be in my apartment searching the internet for a job. And when I look out the window, I’ll see that depressing reminder of my neighborhood’s struggling economy. I’m not looking for work near where I live (yet), but it doesn’t make me excited about my prospects.

I just applied for a position at a company whose name you’d recognize. Before filling out the online application, I was presented with the following message…

hey, before you send your resume, consider yourself warned: it’s not all fun and games here, at the crack of dawn and into the wee hours, we’re busting our butts because we believe in this, and we expect you to do the same. otherwise, you can stick to watching those infomercials in between dr. phil. with that said, welcome aboard….maybe.

That’s pretty brazen, and a tad obnoxious. In a good job market, could a potential employer get away with that? Maybe. There are always desperate people looking for work. In a bad job market, I’m guessing potential employees don’t even blink before sending a resume. We just have to take it.

Back in high school, a friend of mine applied for a position at Bed, Bath and Beyond. When asked what department he wanted to work in, he responded “Beyond.” He didn’t get the job.

Now, many years later, I’m signing up for Beyond.com, “…the world’s largest network of niche career communities, powering thousands of geographic and industry-specific sites.” (There’s no connection to the store, as evidenced by the lack of 20% off coupons.) I doubt my experience will make for as memorable a story, but at least I can learn a few things. And maybe registering will lead to a job or at least some more spam. A guy can dream, right?

The name “Beyond.com” conjures an image of some corner of the internet, marked off by a digital velvet rope, where only the avatars of cool people can buy $20 drinks. Really, anyone can join for free. So I jumped right in.

Creating a login, filling in some personal info and posting a resume and cover letter took a grand total of about 5 minutes. I now have a personal profile that employers will find (theoretically) when they search on keywords that I included as part of my profile. The interface was clean and straightforward, and the site didn’t ask for anything unnecessary. The only stumbling block was naming my profile page. The site said I can give my profile page my name, but then only gave the option to choose one of two numerical names. It was a little annoying, but not that big a deal.

That the setup was easy doesn’t surprise me; big job sites tend to be user-friendly on the surface. More job candidates attract more employers. Still, a well laid out site instills confidence. A basic listing can only be so helpful. It’s in the tweaking that big job sites become more complicated, and more powerful.

I went back into my listing looking for additional information to give and job alerts to set up. There are sections for references, a picture and personal links. Another section lists many questions the answers to which “…help employers make informed decisions and enable them to learn more about you as an individual.” Which questions to answer is probably just as important as the answers. I haven’t answered any yet, but rest assured all of my responses will include loads of profanities and misspellings.

And then I was reminded why I’d been avoiding Beyond.com. My public profile includes all of my contact info. I prefer to show only my email address. But the only way to hide my home address and phone number is through a premier membership costing $15 for 6 months. This basically forces you to pay to use the site, as most people don’t want all of their contact info available to everyone.

The fee may be nominal, but the principle of it irks me. A job site (or any site) should charge for real add-on services – which Beyond.com also delivers with its premier membership – not for privacy. Privacy is a basic right that one can reasonably expect in any online relationship.

This is where I stopped exploring Beyond.com, largely because I’m annoyed (and hungry). I’ll probably end up paying the $15.  But the site better live up to it’s name. I’ll post again once I’ve explored more.

I receive emailed listings everyday from various job sites, based on specified parameters. But on Mondays I comb the job sites personally. It’s not something I enjoy. But really, is any part of the job search fun? Some people recommend visiting the job sites every day or at least every few days. As far as I can tell, they don’t change enough to warrant that many visits. And no posted job is going be filled and taken down in less than a week. My time is better spent visiting company or recruiter sites, networking or doing any of the million other things that go into a job search.

Even with weekly visits, there hasn’t been that much new stuff lately. And what I do find is often duplicated on multiple sites. December is generally a slow month in the job search; people are more focused on the holidays and budgets. (Though I was hired for my last job in December, oddly enough…) And these days companies are too busy circling the wagons to even think about filling vacancies. Yet I continue, on the off chance that something is out there waiting for me (a Christmas miracle!).

There are many many many job sites, some better than others, some more specific than others. I have a tab in my job search excel file dedicated to job sites with 80+ sites. But I tend to stick to the ones I have success with, whatever that means. It may just be that I’ve grown comfortable with certain sites. Anyway, here are the ones I use…

• CareerBuilder
• Hotjobs
• MediaBistro
• Marketing Hire
• paidContent
• CyberCoders
• Craigslist

I’ve never liked Monster, but I probably should just deal with it. Some people have suggested Beyond and Indeed, which are networks of sites; I’ll try them again one of these days. And The Ladders is supposed to be pretty good, though I still have a little trouble paying for job listings. There are also plenty of industry-oriented sites for whatever industry you’re in. For Marketing at least, these generally don’t have much I can’t find on the sites I already use.

Today wasn’t a terribly productive day in the job hunt, though not for lack of trying. I sent out three resumes – one for an Online Marketing Manager position I found on Hotjobs; one for an Associate Brand Manager position on Craigslist and one for a Marketing Manager position also on Craigslist. Two of those listings didn’t include the company name, which may mean they’re really awesome companies where everyone wants to work.  Of course, it may mean just the opposite. Or they just forgot to put their name. (I’ve seen listings with no contact info at all, so this is a very really possibility.) There was one other listing for an intriguing part-time position, which I bookmarked to mull over a bit.

I did notice a couple of interesting things. Both Citi and JPMorgan Chase had a ton of listings for all kinds of positions. Why? I thought both companies are teetering on the edge of the abyss. Are they looking to take even more people down with them?

Craigslist can be pretty ridiculous, so much so that I almost don’t mind trolling the listings. (I realize this is no great revalation – the site has a discussion forum dedicated to haiku, with a keyword function.) Here are a couple of interesting ones I found today…

Females Needed for Beer Pong Tournament (B Real of Cypress Hill) – That’s just awesome. What more can I say?

Calling All Creative Minds – This one presents the job requirements in the form of a conversation with a journalist. It’s awkward, because no one talks like this. And it’s cheesy. But it does stand out.

And some that annoyed me…

Entry Level Sales & Marketing – Ninjas Only – This one would be better if they were actually hiring ninjas, or training ninjas, or at least had something to do with ninjas. But the only connection seems to be that they require a sense of humor in their employees. Then have a sense of humor yourself.

Personal Greeter – Do you really need to advertise on Craigslist for someone to stand outside your store in deep Brooklyn waving at people? Can’t you just get anybody to do this? I mean, really, anybody.

Pass Out Flyers!! – Because exclamation marks can make anything exciting. And they require a headshot. I think I’d prefer a shot in the head.

Kudos to The Motley Fool for yet another useful article. This one talks about what to do when laid off. It never would have occurred to me to negotiate a severance when hired. Here’s a quick list for those of you with jobs (i.e. no free time).

1. Get everything you’ve been promised in writing.
2. If you have some notice before the day the ax finally falls, do a little research.
3. Volunteer to stay for another 30 or 60 days.
4. Consult the employee manual.

I always forget something when I travel. The best case scenario is to forget something that I don’t really need (like my toothbrush, um, I mean, a magazine) or something I can replace for a couple dollars (like a toothbrush). This time didn’t work out that way.

I forgot to bring CDs. Most of the time, the trusty iPod is fine, but not in MD, where every trip requires a car. “Norm,” you might say, “there are ways to play the iPod through the car stereo.” And you’d be right. But my mom’s car stereo doesn’t have a jack, and the attachments that play an iPod on an open frequency are spotty around here. So it was four days of driving to the radio, during the holiday season. Sound a little like hell?

I’ve heard a ton of crap, big steaming piles of it. I’ve also heard some decent stuff that didn’t make me reach for a pen to stab out my eardrums. But before we get to the list, I have a question:

Why does radio love Supertramp and Steve Miller so much?

Supertramp has one decent album with three decent songs that I’ve heard five times a day everyday. Steve Miller is like classic rock water. It goes down easy, but you’d rather have something that tastes better… like Tom Petty or The Police (not Sting, The Police). These acts have been all over the radio too, and I’m ok with that.

[Me stepping off the soapbox]

Here are the really good songs I’ve heard this week, inspired by four days of hitting the scan button. And by really good I may mean really bad, or I may mean really good. You be the judge. If I turned up the volume and sang along, it made the list. The louder I turned up the volume and the louder I sang (the sum of which = total rockitude, I believe), the better the position on the list.

Survivor – “I Can’t Hold Back”
Ever seen Survivor and Foreigner in the same room?We might be on to something here.

The Who – “Baba O’Riley”
No comment required, great song.

Journey – “Don’t Stop Believin’”
The tighter the jeans, the higher the notes.

Kansas – “Carry On My Wayward Son”
See, geography can rock.

Boston – “More Than A Feeling”
Like I said, geography…

Guns N’ Roses – “Patience”
Being acoustic worked against them – harder to be loud.

Elton John – “Tiny Dancer”
Imagine the scene from “Almost Famous” but in a car, in the suburbs, without anyone else around.

Van Halen – “I’ll Wait”
They could have moved up with “Ice Cream Man” or “Panama.” See what you did inanely chattering DJ guy?

Gerry Rafferty – “Baker Street”
This guy is tied with Rupert Holmes (“Escape (The Pina Colada Song)”) for most obscure artist who sings a song everyone would know if they heard it.

Crosby, Stills and Nash – “Suite: Judy Blue Eyes”
You know, the long song with all the ‘do do dos’ at the end.

And to preempt the two most obvious questions…

I am not ashamed.

Wham – “Last Christmas” would have placed between Journey and Kansas had I heard it.

While I try to stick to a schedule, I also like the flexibility that unemployment allows. This week I’ve taken my act on the road (can’t you tell?), to MD, to visit with people I don’t get to see enough of.

My trips to the area generally correspond with major holidays, since that’s when my wife and I have time off and the family gathers. These trips are usually a two-day whirlwind of big meals with various family members. Fun for sure, but I rarely get to see my friends from the area. This year, being sans job, I’m spending the week ahead of our holiday trip visiting with them. Unemployment does have its perks.

During the day, these friends have jobs (damn them all). So life – transplanted to my mom’s house – goes on for me as usual. And, of course, the Internet problems followed me here, to make sure I don’t start thinking that maybe, just maybe, online access can be problem-free. Don’t worry Internet, I’m still your bitch. But you’re killing me!

My mom’s computer seems to be polluted with something and anyway it might be from the first generation after they stopped using punch cards. When the Internet is “working” (which it no longer seems to be) I can practically hear the processor thinking about what [ENTER] means. Maybe I’m spoiled, but that’s not good enough.

I would transfer the Ethernet cable to my laptop, but the office is so messy that I’m scared to. Something large would fall over in the process, trapping me underneath her desk. Then, to save my life, I’d have to gnaw through one of my limbs. Such an episode would surely get me on CNN and the Channel 4 News with Jim Vance and maybe The View, but where would I be after the media blitz? I’ll tell you… unemployed and missing a limb.

So I tried to steal one of her neighbors’ wireless connections. Six are within range and five of them require passwords (none of which are “password,” damn). The open connection comes in at one bar – two when you’re not online and zero when you’re doing something important.

The next stop was a Caribou Coffee in a local shopping center. I’d camped out there before with a tasty beverage and gotten my fill of the free wireless. The place was comfortable and the one-hour wireless limit was easy enough to get around. It was even quiet. Evidently too quiet, as it’s now being turned into a Dunkin’ Donuts.

If only Starbucks’s wireless wasn’t tied to AT&T, I’d go there. Alas, the man is always trying to keep me down.

I continued on to the library, where I figured wireless would abound. And sure enough, I was right. I got a spot with an outlet and proceeded to work. The only problem with the library (aside from the weirdness of using your laptop in the same spot you did book reports 25 years ago) is you have to take your valuables with you to the bathroom. Losing your spot trumps losing your computer. The better option is to not drink any liquids before going and then hold it in should the urge present itself. Yesterday the Internet gods were smiling, and things worked out for me.

So today I tried my luck again, earlier in the day, and failed. People studying took all the cubes with outlets. Must be finals time at the local junior college, since high school students usually don’t haunt the library at 11:30 a.m. on Wednesday, and UMD is far away from here. With my battery fading, I did a quick search on “Rockville coffee shop” and retrieved some useful results.

Back at my mom’s, where the electricity flows freely, I recharged my computer, ate lunch (none of that fancy fast-food for the jobless) and typed up this post. Now I’m off to a different Caribou Coffee, which presumably still exists. If you’re reading this, you’ll know I found Internet.

Anybody see that South Park episode in which they head west in search of Internet? This feels a little like that.

Time is easy to waste when you have a lot of it. So I’m trying to treat unemployment as a job, with goals and projects and deadlines. One goal, of course, is to find a paying job. But another important goal is to improve myself. The temptation is always there to sit around watching TV, eating junk food and generally doing nothing. But really, too much of this would just make me feel like more of a loser. It’s all about balance (find the balance, Daniel-san), getting things done so I can be a productive loser, I mean winner (Just ask Joe Esposito).

Keeping a schedule can help you feel productive or – dare I say it – actually be productive. See where it’s gotten me? Here’s a typical weekday schedule for me (actual results may vary).

7:30: Wake up (no sleeping until noon there sport, you’ve got a busy day ahead of you)
7:45 – 8:30: Eat breakfast, generally get my act to together
8:30 – 9:00: Walk to gym, listen to business podcast, wish the gym were closer to my apartment
9:00 – 11:00: Work out (you may be unemployed, but there’s no need to be flabby)
11:00 – 11:30: Walk back from gym, listen to business podcast, wish the gym were closer to my apartment
11:30 – 12:00: Shower (not that I don’t enjoy showering with a bunch of old men at the gym, but you know)
12:00 – 12:30: Eat lunch (pita, vegetables and hummus – what I used to eat for lunch at work, oddly enough)
12:30 – 1:00: Check email, curse the job sites for the terrible job openings they’ve emailed me, read about the sorry state of things
1:00 – 4:00: Comb job sites and corporate sites, be frustrated by job sites and corporate sites, email resumes, reach out to contacts, IM with wifey and others
4:00 – 4:15: Make some coffee, get a cookie from Tulcingo
4:15 – 4:30: Drink coffee, eat cookie, smile, wish I had another cookie
4:30 – 7:30: Work on my blog, read about search engine marketing, IM with wifey and others
7:30 – 8:30: Make dinner with wifey, eat dinner, do dishes
8:30 – 9:00: Check email, figure out a new way to lose at fantasy football, generally mess around online
9:00 – 10:00: Pay bills and other personal business
10:00 – 11:00: Work on blog stuff
11:00 – 11:30: Watch The Daily Show
11:30 – 12:00: Watch whatever else is on (what I’m really looking for here is Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, M*A*S*H or Sports Center)
12:00 – 12:30: Mess around online some more
12:30: Go to bed

After a layoff is a good time to take stock of your career. The 2 questions to ask yourself are:

• What part did I play in this layoff?
• What do I really want to be doing?

You may think there was nothing you could’ve done about a layoff. And maybe you’re right. But some of your former coworkers still have jobs. Why were you laid off and not they? The bottom line is that you were more dispensable, for one reason or another. While nobody is indispensable, some people provide a function that is necessary for the company to survive, or at least are perceived that way. The trick to avoiding a layoff (I’m told) is to make yourself one of those people.

Unfortunately, if layoffs are looming at your company, then it’s probably too late to do anything except pray. The time to take action is when things are looking good. Raise your profile by volunteering for important projects. Be a team builder among your peers. Cozy up to the people who make the decisions. (Don’t be a suck up though, as this can make things worse.) If you’ve done these things, congratulations, your layoff wasn’t your fault. Pass Go and collect $200 (or whatever your state pays in unemployment). Otherwise examine your tenure with your last employer for things to do better with your next employer.

Once you understand your previous mistakes, it’s time to find the job you want (and not make the same mistakes again). While I’m convinced that nobody loves every aspect of their job, many people put up with parts of their jobs so they can do the parts they like. Maximizing the upside and minimizing the downside is a good and realistic goal. Consider every possible factor that plays into a job – the work, the setting, the culture, the people, the hours, the money, the perks. And then consider them again in relation to each other. Money, for example, is important, but you may value an incremental difference in pay far less than the ability to work at home in your pajamas twice a week.

With the answers to these 2 questions, you’re in a good position to start making changes. But don’t slack on this, or you may find yourself in the same position next year. Or possibly worse, you may end up employed but hating your life because of it.

Many people have told me that a layoff presents a great opportunity to find just the right job. It’s a chance to explore various career opportunities and discover the one that matches my skills and temperament. (Dare I say it, maybe there’s one out there that I’ll enjoy.)

I agree and disagree. Being jobless opens up my schedule; I no longer have to spend 40-50 hours each week at work and another 8-10 on the subway. I have free time to explore what’s out there, experiment even. Being jobless is also a major blow to my bank account, even with the unemployment insurance. So while I won’t be sleeping on a park bench anytime soon, I do need to find something before the money runs out. In other words, I’m on the clock, and it’s ticking. And in case you haven’t noticed, the job market kind of sucks at the moment.

I suppose a layoff is both an opportunity and a limitation. In the early days of a layoff, it seems more like an opportunity – so much so that many don’t even bother looking for work. There’s all the time in the world to see what’s out there – to read career development books, to take informational meetings, to be selective in your search. But for the unemployed, money is a little more finite than time. As the days drift by, the opportunities afforded by the layoff give way to limitations. You’re a little more willing to work for less money than you previously earned. You’re a little more willing to work outside of your chosen field. Eventually you’ll take anything just to get a little money coming in.

Let’s hope none of us reach the point of desperation, though I fear some of us will. Take advantage of the unemployment’s opportunities but be aware of its limitations. Somewhere between the two extremes there’s a nice balance.