I’ve been a horrible person. It’s not because I hate you, though I probably do, because I’m a horrible person. How’s that for circular logic? It’s because I’ve been ignoring my blog – the public manifestation of my unemployment. Don’t get me wrong, I love blogging, and have no plans to stop. (And I love [...]
Category Archives: Unemployment
You’ve lost that useless feeling
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
I hurt myself at the gym the other day. The exact moment is still fresh in my head. There I was, back flat against the weight bench, two 400-pound dumbbells poised above my head. Nickelback played through the speakers, angering me to the brink of insanity at the unfairness of life. My muscles twitched; sweat [...]
Unemployed snow day photo exhibition
Thursday, February 11, 2010
I love a good snow day, even when there’s nothing to stay home from. What kid, or kid at heart, doesn’t? To this day, the news radio chimes make me hope for the words, “Montgomery County schools will be closed today,” no matter the time or season. A snow day is special, a surprise holiday, [...]
Job interview, aka complete waste of time
Saturday, January 30, 2010
I had a job interview for an Account Manager position… a very odd job interview. I don’t really know what to make of it. So maybe teasing out my thoughts into an epic blog post, laced with humor and vitriol, will clear things up. What would really clear things up… having this post picked up [...]
Here come the recruiters, hide your long-term unemployed
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Three recruiters contacted me last Thursday, all within about an hour of each other. The stars must have aligned just so, creating a world where my resume springs to the top of every job board search for “digital marketing professional.” Does this signal the end of the famine, or the beginning of the famine? I’ll [...]
Open letter to Conan O’Brien offering job search help
Friday, January 15, 2010
Norm Elrod
Jackson Heights, NY
joblessandless[at]gmail[dot]com
January 15, 2010
Conan O’Brien
Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien
100 Universal City Plaza
Building 2220
4th floor
Universal City, CA 91608
Dear Conan:
I’m so sorry to learn of your recent job troubles. Employers can be such a pain sometimes. I know from experience, having been laid off four times in the last decade, most recently in October 2008. [...]
Unemployment fan mail, because we’re all in this together
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Unemployment is an emotional roller coaster. One day (one hour even) I’m way up, and the next I’m way down. What triggers the peaks and valleys isn’t always obvious or logical. And even if it is, the level of emotion is rarely warranted. I used to be fairly even-tempered… strange and goofy, but even-tempered. So [...]
Temp receptionist as keymaster… keeper of the bathroom key
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
The receptionist is keeper of the bathroom key. I prefer the title, “Keymaster,” as it sounds much more badass. This is an important responsibility; without bathrooms and keys to them, nothing would get done around the office after about 11:00 Monday morning. But the responsibility requires very little actual work. There is no rationing or [...]
I will never temp again… ok, maybe just this once
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
I will never temp again. I will never temp again. I will never temp again. That’s been my mantra after every temp assignment, dating back 12 years. And that’s what would run through my head during yoga class, were I to take yoga, or even own one of those mats everyone carries around with a [...]
Hat, meet gift box… a holiday temp job to get me out of the apartment
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
After visiting the mall this weekend, I’m extra happy that temporary holiday season job at the big department store fell through. What a horrible nightmare of crowds and slush and noise. Holiday spending may be down, but holiday shopping is alive and well. As is the Queens Christmas spirit, which translates into lots of pushing [...]