Category Archives: Benefits of Unemployment

“Coming to America” is alive and well in Queens

After a long day of not finding a job, it’s relaxing to engage in an even more mindless activity. Channel surfing, second to sleeping, is the greatest time-waster ever created. My thumb and a few buttons on the remote control give me 200 stations of useless television programming, and occasionally something worth watching. I always […]

Vacation from unemployment, part 4

How much can a broke unemployed guy possibly enjoy himself on a ten-day vacation? More to the point, how much can he can have to say about it? We’ve reached the fourth and final installment of my vacation saga. So now you have the answers… four posts worth, given a forum, some free time and […]

Unemployed guy fits right in at the US Open

Tourists and Manhattanites don’t come to Queens. They’re still scared of Brooklyn‘s tonier neighborhoods, where killer mothers, nanny henchmen and four-headed demon newborns of death rule the parks, boutiques and cafes. So this side of the East River, a little north of Brooklyn, where all the foreign people live, might as well be Sadr City […]

Vacation from unemployment, part 3

After Montreal, we ventured out into the great Canadian wilderness, to live off the land and sleep under the stars. I grew up camping with my family; we were known as tent people. Okay, so technically I grew up in a house, but that was only 50-51 weeks out of the year. The rest of […]

Vacation from unemployment, part 2

Wifey and I enjoy flying to fancy, far-off places – like France, Crete and Wyoming – where people dress and speak funny. We also like to tack on road-trips to the end of those long plane rides. For one of my favorite vacations, we flew to Sioux Falls, SD, rented a car and drove across […]

Vacation from unemployment, part 1

The internet must have felt a little emptier last week, like a good friend had gone missing. It’s okay to admit it; you’re not alone. Just ask my cats, they’ll tell you, over and over, in their annoying whiny cat language. Then one of them will barf a juicy hairball on your shoe. That missing […]

These are the people in my neighborhood

Oh, who are the people in your neighborhood? In your neighborhood? In your neighborhood? Say, who are the people in your neighborhood? The people that you meet each day Once upon a time I had a job. Or maybe I just dreamt it up to kill time between layoffs. The neighborhood where I worked was […]

Training camp opens… unemployed football fan rejoices

Are you ready for some football? Why, yes, Hank, thanks for asking. I’m actually ready for a lot of things, and football is chief among them. Here’s a quick list… football (like I said) a paycheck this the end of summer a new Boards Of Canada album The World the end of the “Obama isn’t […]

Adventures in bus riding, part 1

Traveling long distance by bus is terrible. How terrible is it? You really want to know? Can I get a “how terrible is it, Norm?” It’s so terrible that it requires a second (and third) post to fully appreciate the heights, err, depths, err, breadth of… well, it’s really bad. And for those wondering, I […]

My dream… to not ride the bus

I haven’t had a car in ten years. There’s just no need for one in New York. I live right by the subway, which can take me pretty much everywhere worth going. (That’s right Staten Island, you’re worthless. I said it. You smell funny and all your names end in “kill.”) Owning a car around […]